John Belk, the Storyteller

John is remembered by many for his jokes and elaborate stories. He had an excellent memory and often used anecdotes to make a point. Sometimes John would mix up the details and confuse his audience along the way. But, by the end of the story, he was always able to make his point and bring a smile to everyone around him. He’s fondly remembered for these “Belkisms,” even having explained it to Margaret Thatcher in this way: “There’s English as it is spoken in England; there’s English as it is spoken in America; and then there is Belk English.”

Top 10 Belkisms

  1. “Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.”
  2. “Regardless of what you do, your mother and your dog will always love you.”
  3. “We ought to decide where our problems are and implement our own.”
  4. “My words might have been the wisdom for your knowledge.”
  5. “Tell us what it is and we’ll know whether we didn’t get it or not.”
  6. “You can’t be unreasonable about something until you get the facts.”
  7. “I can keep a secret. It’s just those people I tell it to that can’t.”
  8.  “The Lord expects more of Charlotte than of other cities ‘cause he tests us so much more.”
  9. “Don’t bother telling other people your problems. Half of ‘em won’t care and the other half will be glad you’ve got ‘em.”
  10. “As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters always point in the right direction.